Timing...
Many have now found out that I am expecting again. For months I have tried to hide my growing "bump", but their is no more hiding...Just this past week I have had the questions.."I thought you could never get pregnant".. "Aren't you nervous after all you have been through".."Why would you put yourself through this again"... I never know how to respond to this...
What I can tell you is what I have learned and what I believe.
Timing.
After three fertility specialists, three of the same diagnosis, getting pregnant was not an option for Jim and I. My diagnosis was not the easy to fix, ovulation matters, or follicle growth. Our result was more serious, and the chances we were given were 1 in a million. We were told we had two options, donor or adoption. For a little while my sister Carla considered assisting us, but I think for all of us this may have been a little hard...In the end we chose adoption.
Before our decision, and even after we suffered many losses. I think I have become much more stronger from all of this, that or one day this will all surface for me. I hope I grew stronger and learned how to "deal" with the heartache, it actually became almost normal...Strange.
What I believe now is that fate is in the hands of God, and really it angers me that I was told "Never" and it saddens me that millions of other women will be told the same thing. There is no such thing as never, I am living proof..Our lives are in the hands of God, and when we are meant to have children we will, and if we are never meant to have children, we will not..This decision cannot come from Science, it only comes from faith, and believing that someone "higher" has your best interest in hand..Your prayers will be heard, when it is your TIME...
I cannot explain Emma, or this miracle in my belly...I can only thank God for giving me this opportunity..I no longer look back and search for the answers I so desperately tried to find...In the end, all of my prayers were answered.... it just took a few heartaches to get here...
I wish I could explain it better...for now, this will have to do in answer to all of those questions I have been asked...
Prayer, Faith and Timing...
